Builders of the Mind

Let this blog be the witness of my thoughts before things happen...

I'm in a state of apprehension... but I do not why...
I try to associate it with problems at work, my way of living, bad habits, what my girlfriend thinks, past encounters, ... but in the end I realize that my state is what turns this thoughts into problems which are not there at all.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm terrified deep inside... Of the unknown, but also I'm terrified to lose the 'caring' (essentially my girl's). And I try to calm my mind by 'undetaching myself' and then: a myriad of nightmares come forth and race through and past my eyes, the worst of them being that 'nothing happens at all'... Think about it, 'NOTHING HAPPENS AT ALL!'
Is that the meaning of loneliness?

On the other hand, I think of all that I have accomplished. There is such anguish in me when I think of losing something that I have achieved. It's HORROR! My heart beats furiosly at the thought of it.

I feel like I'm standing too close to the screen, and am not able to see the whole picture unless I scroll to the sides, up and down... that's a truly apprehensive thought...

Therefore be my witness, for I believe I'm in the verge of solving something grand, of discovering something outrageous, and thus become smaller in character and knowledge.

- OR perhaps it's because I drank 7 cups of black tea during the last 4 hours *boggle*