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Friday, December 31, 2004

Das Ende des Jahre 2004

Happy new year!!
We finish yet we begin!

Recently I watched the movie Solaris during one of my fab bus runs, grasping through my drowsiness but only islands of the whole phylosophic & conceptual architecture... My curiosity stirred... Here is the poem by Dylan Thomas:

And Death Shall have No Dominion

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daises,
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down.
And death shall have no dominion.

--- Dylan Thomas


Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Bent eye

There is no such thing as nothing,
Everything is as it is.
I love to talk without talking,
I love to see with this bliss.

The sound of voice becomes amazing,
The sight of life a sight of dreams,
The touch of things feels overwhelming,
The smell of love, a silent kiss.

As I blend myself with you,
I can’t think about, I think along.
I lose the grasp from everything,
Everywhere, everytime, any day.

The way we do, the way me make,
The way we spare, the way we live.
We walk on the world,
And the world rolls under our feet.

My headache: the Truth, my dearest lie.
I follow my mind, I do not guide.
It shakes the surface around,
It changes, blurs, crystallizes.

And as I blend myself with you,
I hear the chant of your thoughts,
I glance there, light as air:
A flash of consciousness, and that’s enough.

From the corner of my bent eye,
I glimpse the answer.
I cannot tell, allowed only to remember,
I cannot tell what I have not seen.

JH 2002

Mots sur l’horizont du Sud et danese:

"Ego consisto devant de mis queridos Fratres: uridu-quiero, con la ayuda de un emotivo y grandioso concerto de Bartók, después de haber visto los sueños de Akira Kurosawa que conseguí en debedé, dulce e cantabile, un montón grosero de ropa sucia detrás de mí, un par de mangas neo-nipon-épicos sobre la mesa cubriendo una docena de cuentas insaciables del Best Buy, H.E.B. y 7 Eleven et Walmart und Circuit City, una voz de padrino gracias al imprescindible y condescendiente AC, una mini colección de discos de be-bop, funk, música clásica marciana y rock progresivo, apiláh contra la pared; varios apuntes de comandos de SQL, programas en Cshell y referencias de Unix; unas negras bocinas de 60 watts conectadas al milagroso tocador de mp3 que me ha hecho un paro perronsísimo; una cachucha de barrendero con el logo de la Nasa; el parsimonioso celular que me regaló mi jefa ‘recargándose’ en el buró; 8 dólares en el bolsillo, unos 30 pennies horrendísimos junto a un mapa de Texas partido por la mitad; mis tenis planos casuales de 20 bolas, de cabeza con la estampa rellena de lodo consolidado; ‘siguiente’ a la puerta una hermosa bicicleta rojo brillante con las llantas sensiblemente ponchadas; el teléfono inalámbrico ‘ohne Linie’ por falta de pago, según; un switch en el cajón con 3 cables de red éter extendiéndose a los otros confines de la casa; la ventana posicionada para dejarme ver el jeep del vecino; los brazos y nariz quemados por el franco sol norteño; mi infaltable guitarra durmiendo en una esquina y yo rodeado de naguales como dice uno de mis bravucones amigos; me dispongo a referirles un relato corto, que comprende únicamente un momento, en una ciudad, de un país, que no es el nuestro (muajá) de una somera parte de la enorme cantidad de información a la quelqu’un se expone después de tres meses de vivir a su modo, lejos de lo familiar, y que he procesado, digerido y asimilado durante mi estancia en Reynosa y sus místicos alrededores.

Ahh, las chicas. He visto chicas hermosas, sí señor, pero más en Monterrey, nunca como en los Mochis. Pretty much normale, como en el defectuoso, las que están a mi alcance sont surplus anormale. No se si sea por el hecho de vivir solos, apartados de las familias, que las intrigas entre los de la compañía podrían armar una soap opera sin pex, ya que unos tiran cake a los otros, aunque la forma varía conforme a la personalité. Bastante real y dejavuense a la vez, es una convivencia un poco extraña, con muchas máscaras y modales, pero al fin y al cabo humana.

(Felicito a toda la banda que no felicité, escribo a todos los que no escribí y huggeo a aquellas personas que tengan un vínculo emocional bizarro conmigo. Espero sigan echando desmadre como se debe y les doy las gracias por chutarse esta carta conmimí)

Soy libre. Maintenant estoy a todo dar así. Aún no hay una mujer en mi vida (un besso li Rosarii) (la policía, dicen unos amigos por acá –me pareció bueno el término). Tengo varias amigas, mais non plus ultra. Hay una gran urgencia aquí porque me apadrine alguna. Vraiment increíble. Me dejaré? A ver cuánto dura.

No me puedo quejar, pues he conocido muchos lares en derredor, de los cuales listo encore Monterrey, El cañón de Matacanes (cerca de Cola de Caballo) – está de huevísimos, es el lugar más chingón que he conocido jamás (en cuestión de adrenaline-discharge), McAllen, Isla del Padre (la playa gringa), el skyline de Houston, la Nasa y varios pueblillos de Texas, 314 malls y platzas. Estoy planeando un trip a Lousiana, a la tierra del Jazz (New Orleáns) sólo necesito un puente de 3 días for the love of god.

Poco a poco me he ido sumergiendo en il mondo petrolífero de PEMEX del norte, cuenca de Burgos, Sabinas – GAS a quemarropa. Recuerdan aquellas clases con El Moroquín? Cuando hablo de repente se me salen algunos términos de petrolero con acento norteño y consultas en Oracle, como émbolo viajero, tr’s, gathers, dumps, navegación sísmica, segy, bbcs, mmbcf, bdps, paraps, supés y frappés, aggggh.

Tooooodo es muuuuuy tranquilo aquí. Les norteinnes se entretienen dando el ‘rol’ en la plaza, o cerca de los antros. Hay un par de súpers grandes donde también puedes ir al cine a ver la última muvi gringa. (I miss the cineteca ein bisschen).

Espero ir al estadio de vveisbool un día de estos, cuesta cuarente varos y no está tan lejos. Ya conozco un chingerísimo de gente, pero tengo pocos cuates. Además, como les digo todos hablan trés mal a las espaldas de l’outre. Backstabbers R US. Han habido varias pedas descomunales con los horrendísimos compañeros de slb que son hasta más pedotes que uno. Que orgullo. Ya no recuerdo a qué sabe la indio, pero pude comprar unas stout en el heb de mcallen y venden cerveza roja de irlanda aussi. Fue horrible.

El KFC aquí se llama Church’s chicken, sabe más feo, pero es más baras, y hacen unos elotes exquisitos – totalmente artificiales ich glaube. Están varios cafecitos cuchis para bohemiar, jugar dominó cubain, ver a las chuquis y hay como 3 restaurants acá, pero me duele el codín probarlos.

Casi siempre comemos en casa, ya sea que nosotros preparemos la comida o la mandemos pedir, tenemos 2 horas (de 2 a 4) para comer-echarla. Lleeeeeeenos de leche.

No se cómo le hice, pero convencí a la banda del cantón de hacerse de sus instrumentos respectivos, y la sala está ocupada por una batería raca pero nueva, un 5-string bass de 150 dólares que compramos un cuate y yo (nos fuimos a michas, por cierto este carnal se llama ‘Hammurabi’, hay otro wey que se llama ‘Primitivo’ – ces noms sont originelles!! Hasta hay un Pancho López jaja.), un teclado nuevecito que compró otro vecino y mi lira negra que es lo único que no es nuevo.

Al-hemdulilah, no he dejado de estudiar lenguas, ahora le estoy entrando un poco al francés. Por cierto, si alguien tiene el primer libro de café creme, mochilas plz.

La máquina la tengo full con casi todo el software en el mercado, que el día que caigan los que revisan las compus nos atoran a todos los que somos y todos los que estamos.

Para aquellos que quieran conocer estas tierras lejanas, hay harto room en my room, se pueden quedar los que sean, y no olviden traer la visa avec le passeport

Forever Autumn – de nuevo J

Joven Hooper
Quesque porque le doy un aire a Richard Dreyfus. Remember JAWS?"

Esta carta la escribí el 24-SEP-03 y la recuperé el día de hoy. Creo que nunca fué enviada...

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

"Sicker!', quoth Cassandra." - ToT

I walked away from being a disgusting asshole and morphed into a second opportunity friend. And that crazy question of wonder... 'Why don't you do it?' they keep asking... Because I can do it, I will not... 'You will repent my young one...' said the elder. But the elder is sour inside...

I just had a big chicken club sandwich with a big cup of onion cream... *tasty*

Last night on the bus I was really worried cause I was coughing madly. Somehow the little flu that got me was getting worse, on account of so much partying... as Arce casually suggested haha... Nevertheless, Im getting better. Prolly because of the better weather at noon and maybe those teas me momma gave me helped aussi...

We've been maddeningly doin' nothin' to-day! We're planning to go take a quick look inside the Music Store late in the evening... Um ein Stomp-box zu kauf'n!! Not for me tho. Or maybe not... It closes at 6:30 pm...

Had a great party at our old house im Defectuose. En suite de boire... plus d'internationelles. Berns brought half a zoo of friends which along with our other half (me being the dragon) hit & burned the Shrek piñata a la Tláhuac. Later drank 9 wamas as punishment for the 'bullshitting dice' ... Loads of laughs and booze... Changui was ultra-drunk! Patrick was hyper-drunk! Jardeenya was remarkably-drunk... I was so high I did not recognize...

Friday, December 24, 2004

Wieviel kostet ein kilo Käse?

"Suddenly everything started to make sense. My eyes compelled by darker thoughts to let the excessive moist come dry, so that my startled vision could grasp a wider and sincere view of the picture. I believe I started to see the facts just as she, from such a loveless point of view, so objectively pointed out, perhaps slightly influenced by tenderness and compassion, due to some latent effect that all my words and actions had had upon her.

Nevertheless, all my doings were on behalf of my love which was entirely hers, as selfish as true and so deep I could not remember a feeling so profound. Yet I wept little during all those days when, filled with hope and anxiety, my heart struggled to translate her words and understand their meaning, while waiting ‘patiently’ for her bold acceptance of my joyous self, by the time disfigured by the attentions I came upon and to her procured, acceptance in a way that nowadays I find to be a non possum endeavour as well as childish.

I learned so much and so little. So much of myself and so little of her. Or perhaps was it the other way around? Despite the obvious pain that the ego expells from such a rejection, oblivious to it, I praised myself and not entirely for this love so free, so charming, so unattached, so sad. The countenance she wore the day she looked into my eyes and said our love could not be, I cannot put astray. It binds my attitude with charm, my body with unsatisfied wanton madness. Perhaps not as passionate as utopic, my platonic dream in front of me, challenging all logic and reason, bringing forth together all feelings of lust.

My precarious tilting heart hummed softly with these memories, boasting my mind away in sincopated heartbeats, drenching my numb body with well-known life anew. I beheld.

Quidnam commisi? Maybe the lack of wrongness preceeded failure. A layout so perfect was not meant to succeed, not from the very beginning, as it had done at the end.

It remained complete, untouchable. Unattainable but blissful. Excruciating but hilarious with freedom. Edible."


(Lost love - fragment) JH - 2004

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Cave canem!

So I took the steps to derive from being a cute and lovely guy to a complete prick!

Go figure! No, better not.

Channeled some of these feelings into grinding metal and fuzzy power chords last night.
Ill spinned lyrics accompanied with a touch of improvised nu-postmodern-licks.
Trimmed fifths and sevenths drilled with a bit of impatience and newly acquired wisdom.

Another party at our place last night. Very slow hehe. Went up to talk on the phone with Arce and when I came down again, all guests had already gone. :-)

Went to el gabacho expecting to buy some gifts for the family, but ended up buying something only for my brother and Arce. Too many people, little time. Got the whole 'Bone' comic strip in a single book :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Hp: 200 Sp: 200 $145000.- >

Idling at the office... Last nite we partied till 4 am - Can you believe it? On Monday... Tuesday

As usual I was dancing like crazy with Ale and Mary while all the other folks drank & drank... and chiquitichat haha. Alice was there also, she's got two left feet. I feel I kinda blew it with her last night and feel like a jerk...

Der Nahual, Mura and Oswa are dying... You can hear their moans from afar and beyond their faces there is deep grief mit Durst gemischt. Eyes sunken, loss of color - they look pale though they are dark skinned...

The boss arrived 9 am to the office. Well, he's the boss. The boss's boss hasn't arrived yet. That's the way it is hmm. I'm cool tho....

There is a feeling of slowness in here... I switched iTunes to stream Persian music and that mixed with my drowsiness...

In other news - Last weekend was great! Went to Tajin with Chix! We hugged, sat and lay together, looking at each other, kissing, saying the sweetest things...

... being away from her gives an extra touch du coeur to memories ...

I ate a really good pozole at the Picnic in PR and watched 'Magnus Alexandros'. I liked it. I always like that kind of movies...

Christmas is now so close... and so is the end of the year... lurking ... I'm happy and sore.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

XCII.



But do thy worst to steal thyself away,
For term of life thou art assured mine,
And life no longer than thy love will stay,
For it depends upon that love of thine.
Then need I not to fear the worst of wrongs,
When in the least of them my life hath end.
I see a better state to me belongs
Than that which on thy humour doth depend;
Thou canst not vex me with inconstant mind,
Since that my life on thy revolt doth lie.
O, what a happy title do I find,
Happy to have thy love, happy to die!
But what's so blessed-fair that fears no blot?
Thou mayst be false, and yet I know it not.

- Shakespeare

I deeply fancied this sonnet. Brings up memories not at all
times present and some yet not lived. :-B

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I stand in sublime awe under the sky

Wahooooooo!
I can't believe it still - I'm soooo happy :-D She said YES!!!
Can you die from so strong a feeling? I feel like I could... haha

( And in the back of my mind, mind boggling philosophy bouncing: "With great happiness comes great sadness" ) hahahaha

So I had a rollercoaster of a vacation. I was limboeing because of my longing feelings for Arce but nevertheless the trip was great! We climbed loads of ruins and stepped into many types of sand, took many baths under different sunsets, knew several types of gents and girls, food and sleep.

The outcome: my grandma was happy, my mother was happy, my father was grunting but nevertheless happy, and my bro was as usual hahaha and happy.

I loved it. Paradigm enhanced - vision entranced.

Last weekend I spent it all with her. Knew some of her friends. Met old ones too. It was good & strange at the same time *boggle*

Overall it was about 6000 km on the highway - drinking from life...